Chapter nine Showing your grandson that it is OK to express feelings

 


LOVE

We  grandfathers need to cultivate love—or responsible action toward others—in our grandsons life.

With Good communication which is vital. We grandfathers need to make communication a high priority, so we’re teaching our grandsons by example and through practice. In a nutshell, we listen first before making our opinions known, and we do away with lectures in favor of two-way discussions. We’re also open to receiving feedback, even if it’s negative. These are all demonstrations of love.

The other key factor is closely related, but worth mentioning separately: showing affection. Boys with affectionate male role models develop positive self-esteem, they tend to thrive in schoolwork, and have fewer gender identity issues. So, along with those pats on the back and tousles of the hair, give your grandson a big, old-fashioned bear hug—and do it often.



Verbal affection is also very important. Positive words give grandsons confidence and belonging, and again provide a model of a man who can express love in healthy ways. We need to tell our grandsons how much they mean to us, point out their positive character traits, and just say, “I love you, and I’m proud to be your grandfather.”



en español





AMAR

Los abuelos necesitamos cultivar el amor, o la acción responsable hacia los demás, en la vida de nuestros nietos.

Con una buena comunicación que es vital. Los abuelos necesitamos hacer de la comunicación una alta prioridad, por lo que estamos enseñando a nuestros nietos con el ejemplo y a través de la práctica. En pocas palabras, escuchamos primero antes de dar a conocer nuestras opiniones, y eliminamos las conferencias en favor de discusiones bidireccionales. También estamos abiertos a recibir comentarios, incluso si son negativos. Todas estas son demostraciones de amor.

El otro factor clave está estrechamente relacionado, pero vale la pena mencionarlo por separado: mostrar afecto. Los niños con modelos masculinos afectuosos desarrollan una autoestima positiva, tienden a prosperar en el trabajo escolar y tienen menos problemas de identidad de género. Entonces, junto con esas palmaditas en la espalda y los tousles del cabello, dale a tu nieto un abrazo de oso grande y anticuado, y hazlo a menudo.

El afecto verbal también es muy importante. Las palabras positivas dan a los nietos confianza y pertenencia, y nuevamente proporcionan un modelo de un hombre que puede expresar amor de manera saludable. Necesitamos decirles a nuestros nietos cuánto significan para nosotros, señalar sus rasgos de carácter positivos y simplemente decir: "Te amo y estoy orgulloso de ser tu abuelo".

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